I'm not sure where to start, so I guess I'll just begin and see where it takes me. I am new to blogging, but aren't we supposed to try something new each day? With all the changes and upheavals in my life lately, I thought blogging may help to quiet my all too active mind.
A recent philosophy that I have adopted is "Follow Your Bliss;" I have been repeating this mantra to myself over the last two months and for better or worse, I have been doing exactly that.
I find myself living a bit of a Clark Kent lifestyle. I have a steady 9-5 job, but I find myself craving creativity, new things and excitement. I constantly feel that I am running after and trying to tame my creativity, or at the very least, fit it into a small, tidy box. By day, I am corporate, but as soon as I can, I journal, make jewelry, work on my book that I'm writing, act, devour literature, read about fashion, scrap-book...the list goes on. Especially recently, I find myself being a jack of all trades as I fill my roles as an actor, business woman, partner, writer, negotiator, sister, lover, friend...again, the list goes on. This is not an unusual discovery. Every human being has multiple ways to describe themselves. I am currently trying to find out what exactly my core descriptions are.
I just got back from a life changing trip and I suspect this blog will help me to adapt back to real life or to "get a grip," as my grandmother says. At this very moment, I am feeling lost, awkward and unsure. I am a perfectionist at heart and the idea of ambiguity is a terrifying concept for me. Yet, this past two months for me has been exactly that - eight weeks of ambiguity that I somehow have managed to not only enjoy, but thrive in. Normally, I'm a thinker, very sensitive and I need time to mull things over.
When I was a little girl and my friends had pictures of Jonathan Taylor Thomas on their wall, my room was plastered with pictures of New York City. It's for this reason that I finally broke down years of wishing, went to New York City by myself for two months. I left my 'safe life'. This was a really big deal for me. I don't know how else to make the adjustment back to 'real life' and not knowing what I want or where I stand has only left me feeling more lost. I do know a few things though. I know that I love writing, acting, fashion and creativity. I plan on to continue to pursue acting and eventually complete and publish my book (I love it so far!) That's why for now, my compass doesn't say North or South, it really just says "Bliss" or "No Bliss." I'm trying to go after the bliss part.
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